The Gift of Resilience in the IMverse: Empowering Ambitious Mothers (Gift Series, Part 2)
Introduction
Welcome back to our holiday series dedicated to the incredible journey of ambitious mothers within the IMverse (Infamous Mothers Universe). Building on last week's exploration of the power of dreams, this week we unwrap another invaluable gift: resilience. In particular, this blog post explores the intricate relationship among resilience, ambition and goal achievement. Together, these three form a crucial foundation for both personal and professional growth, as highlighted by the E-E-E Model of Goal-Setting from the American Psychological Association.
Embracing Resilience: A Lifeline for Ambitious Mothers
As you pursue your ambitious goals, consider making resilience your bestie. It is the inner strength that keeps you going against the odds. According to the dictionary, resilience is defined as “the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” But some would argue that it’s about more. It's about bouncing forward with wisdom and strength. It is about transforming challenges into catalysts for growth - a lesson particularly valuable for ambitious mothers who balance family and career amidst hurdles, and it’s about seeing our setbacks at stepping stones for something greater.
I am the queen of resilience. As the single mom of six children by four different dads, I took everything that was meant to be my biggest shame and insecurities, the thing that was meant to taint me and make me dirty within the context of respectability politics, and I built something beautiful from them. I built a company, a body of research and a market. Everything that society said should break me ultimately forged me into something far better than anyone — including myself — had imagined for me.
Turning Setbacks into Comebacks: The Power of Positive Psychology
I’m not the only one. The IMverse is filled with ambitious mothers who provide vivid examples of how setbacks can be transformed into opportunities for growth, aligning with the principles of positive psychology. Consider these words from Keetra, a mom, “glamma,” wife and director at a large nonprofit organization. “Real Talk - I feel empowered by [my] own resilience. When I look back and realize all that I have been under, against and through — and know that I’m STILL WINNING, I gain strength from that! That’s when I look in the mirror and start talkin’ & poppin’ my sh*t! My resilience reminds me that ALL I DO IS WIN! And THAT encourages me to KEEP WINNING!
Keetra isn’t stuck on the problem. She is determined to win, so she lives in the solution— gaining strength, staying encouraged…and keep winning. This shift from problem-solving to solution-finding, a key tenet of positive psychology, emphasizes setting goals that are deeply connected to personal values and strengths. Her reflection is a testament to the ability of ambitious mothers to adapt and thrive in the face of challenges, embodying the resilience that turns setbacks into comebacks. It's a journey of self-discovery, where the focus shifts from merely overcoming a problem to creating meaningful, fulfilling solutions that resonate with who they are at their core — in Keetra’s case, a winner.
Nothing’s Wasted: An Infamous Mothers Concept
Let’s switch gears for a moment. Consider this: The concept of the remix is wide and vast, applying to food, music... and love.
It even applies to our lives. Often, we look at where we’ve been or where we are, and we feel regret. We think about all the time that we’ve wasted. We think about our failed relationships and how we mismanaged our youth. We think about the years we lost struggling with drugs and alcohol, and we think about all the people that we could’ve been but failed to become.
But here’s the thing: nothing’s wasted… unless you say it is.
I made up my mind a long time ago that I would be the master of the remix, leaving very little room in my life for regret. Everything in my life would count, and if it didn't serve me to my satisfaction on the original plate in its original form, I’d just transform it into something else.
I would spin hay into gold, turn bullshit into fertilizer, and flip my shame into my superpowers. My hurt became fuel. My story became my currency, taking me places that neither money nor credit could. And my defeats became chapters in my "textbook of life," a handbook I often teach from when I’m schooling my children.
Nothing’s wasted until I say it is. And while I do throw things away, I’m efficient, trying to get as much meat as I can off the bones that life sometimes throws at me.
Here’s why…
People will try to make us believe that certain experiences are more valuable than others. For example, when I started graduate school, other people in my cohort had come from impressive places: Cambridge and Harvard. They had spent the summer at fancy museums and prestigious libraries. I had heard and read about those places enough to know that, in my academic circles, they meant something.
I was coming straight from the Southside of Chicago. I had spent enough time listening to the news and to other people to know that that meant something too. It meant violence, chaos, confusion… struggle. I could spend the rest of my time as a graduate student feeling less than, or I could place just as much value on my journey as they (and others) had placed on theirs. And I did.
Once I realized I had a right to be in the room, I began owning my experiences without apology. I used them as inspiration during my time in the academy: writing about them, researching the history and context, creating theory about them. And I do it every day in business, through the Infamous Mothers brand.
In my journey, the mantra "nothing's wasted" has become a testament to the fusion of ambition, resilience, and personal values. My ambition propelled me from the Southside of Chicago to pursue higher education and build the Infamous Mothers brand, using every piece of my past as a stepping stone towards these goals. Resilience was key in this process, enabling me to transform struggles into strength, to spin hay into gold. My values, the core of who I am, guided this transformation, ensuring that every experience, whether it be a challenge or triumph, contributed to my growth. This journey illustrates that when ambition is guided by deep-seated values and bolstered by resilience, every aspect of life, no matter how insignificant it may seem, holds value and nothing is ever wasted.
Building a Support Network: Enhancing Resilience through Community
Resilience, especially for ambitious mothers, not only thrives in a supportive community but is also fundamentally transformed by it. This transformative power of community was vividly illustrated in our pilot program, Covet, aimed at building health alongside wealth. When we provided pre and post surveys to the participants, many women reported a history of abandoning health and wellness efforts, like gym routines or diets, within three months. However, in our program, every participant stayed for the full year. When asked about what made the difference, the overwhelming response was the sense of sisterhood.
This sisterhood went beyond mere support; it became a pillar of accountability and motivation. Women in the program shared that on their own, they might have quit, as they had done in the past. But within the community, they recognized that their persistence was crucial not just for their success but for the success of others in the group. They felt a sense of responsibility, realizing that the next woman's progress depended on their continued participation. This collective commitment meant that no one wanted to be the reason someone else faltered.
This experience underlines a powerful aspect of positive psychology within community networks. It's not just about aligning goals with individual capacities and strengths; it's also about creating an environment where individual effort contributes to collective resilience. In such a space, personal challenges are met with collective support, turning individual vulnerabilities into communal strengths.
The impact of this sisterhood demonstrates that resilience is not just an individual journey but can be significantly bolstered by a sense of communal responsibility and shared goals. It highlights how a supportive network can transform the traditional view of resilience from a solitary struggle to a collective endeavor, where each member plays a vital role in the resilience of the whole group.
In essence, the Covet program's success story reinforces the idea that resilience is amplified in a community where members are invested not only in their success but also in the success of others. This shared investment creates a dynamic where individuals find greater strength and persistence, not just for their sake but for the sake of the group, embodying the true spirit of resilience through collective effort and shared values.
Self-Care and Resilience: Nurturing Well-being
Self-care is deeply connected to resilience, playing a crucial role in maintaining mental well-being and fortifying one's ability to cope with stress and adversity. Taking care of oneself through practices like mindfulness, exercise, or journaling is essential, but there's more to self-care that can further nurture well-being and strengthen resilience.
Expanding Self-Care Practices
Beyond the basic self-care practices, there are other activities and habits that can contribute significantly to resilience:
1. Quality Sleep: Prioritizing good sleep hygiene is crucial. Adequate rest rejuvenates the body and mind, making it easier to handle stress and bounce back from challenges.
2. Healthy Eating: Nutritional choices play a significant role in mental health. A balanced diet can improve mood, energy levels, and overall physical health, which in turn supports resilience.
3. Social Connections: Maintaining strong social ties is a vital aspect of self-care. Relationships provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and offer different perspectives on problems.
4. Setting Boundaries: Knowing when to say no and setting healthy boundaries is essential for self-care. It helps in managing stress and prevents burnout, thereby maintaining resilience.
5. Continuous Learning and Personal Growth: Engaging in activities that promote personal growth, such as learning a new skill or hobby, not only provides a sense of accomplishment but also helps in adapting to new situations, a key aspect of resilience.
6. Nature and Outdoor Activities: Spending time in nature, whether it's a walk in the park or a hike, can reduce stress, improve mood, and enhance physical well-being, all of which contribute to resilience.
7. Mindful Relaxation and Meditation: Regular practice of relaxation techniques like meditation or yoga can reduce stress, enhance emotional health, and improve concentration, aiding in resilience.
8. Creative Outlets: Engaging in creative activities such as painting, writing, or playing music can be therapeutic, offering a way to express emotions and process experiences.
The Cumulative Impact of Self-Care on Resilience
The cumulative effect of these self-care practices is significant in building and maintaining resilience. By regularly engaging in these activities, individuals can better manage stress, adapt to change, and recover from setbacks more effectively. Each aspect of self-care contributes to a stronger, more resilient self, capable of facing life's challenges with confidence and grace.
In essence, self-care is a multifaceted approach to resilience. It encompasses physical, emotional, and mental health practices that work together to build a foundation of strength and flexibility. By committing to comprehensive self-care, individuals equip themselves with the tools necessary to navigate life's ups and downs, embodying the essence of resilience in their daily lives.
Conclusion: The Enduring Gift of Resilience and Key Takeaways
As we unwrap the gift of resilience, it's clear that it's not just a trait but a skill that can be cultivated and strengthened over time. It empowers ambitious mothers to face challenges, bounce forward from setbacks, and continually progress toward their goals. Resilience, infused with the principles of positive psychology and driven by ambition, transforms into a journey of self-improvement and achievement. It's about growth experienced along the way, through the development of self-confidence and a deeper understanding of one’s capabilities and aspirations.
Before we close, here is a quick recap of several strategies for fostering resilience, particularly for ambitious mothers, emerge:
1. Master the Art of the Remix: Embrace every part of your journey, including the challenges. Transform negative experiences into learning opportunities or stepping stones towards your goals. This approach helps in seeing value in every experience and using it to your advantage.
2. Set Ambitious Goals: Utilize the E-E-E Model of Goal-Setting to align your goals with your personal values and strengths. This alignment ensures that your ambitions are meaningful and achievable, and that you remain resilient in the face of challenges.
3. Build and Leverage a Supportive Community: Create or join a network of like-minded individuals who can offer support, guidance, and motivation. The success of the Covet program illustrates the power of community in enhancing resilience and achieving collective success.
4. Practice Comprehensive Self-Care: Go beyond basic self-care routines to include practices that cover physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This can include quality sleep, healthy eating, social connections, personal growth activities, and mindfulness practices.
5. Embrace Positive Psychology: Focus on solution-finding rather than just problem-solving. This shift in perspective helps in setting goals that resonate with your personal values and strengths, turning challenges into opportunities for growth.
6. Own Your Experiences: Take control of your narrative. Understand that your background and experiences, regardless of how they are perceived by others, add unique value to your journey. Use them as a source of strength and inspiration in your endeavors.
7. Use Setbacks as a Source of Empowerment: Learn from the challenges and setbacks you face. Use them as fuel to propel yourself forward, and remember that resilience involves not just surviving but thriving through adversity.
8. Foster a Sense of Responsibility Within the Community: Recognize that your participation and persistence can have a positive impact on others in your community. This sense of responsibility can motivate you to stay committed to your goals and contribute to the resilience of the group.
These strategies highlight the importance of resilience in navigating life's challenges and achieving personal and professional growth. They offer practical ways for ambitious mothers to harness their strengths, overcome obstacles, and thrive in their journeys.
Stay tuned for our next installment, where we'll explore the power of your unique voice in shaping your journey and influencing those around you.
P.S. — It’s Covet Season
In the Infamous Mothers Universe (IMverse), we're fully immersed in the transformative Covet season. This is the phase where extraordinary women in our world wholeheartedly dedicate themselves to becoming the versions of themselves that once seemed out of reach. During this season, women are achieving their health and wellness goals, increasing their bottom lines, and accomplishing things that were once deemed 'impossible'. Our mission is crystal clear: we exist to inspire, motivate, and educate you as you relentlessly pursue the very dreams you've longed for.
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Photo Credit: Chris Charles
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers