Unwrapping Infamous Mothers: The Gift of Dreams (Gift Series, Part 1)
Introduction
Welcome to the first week of our inspiring ‘gifts’ series. This series is a tribute to all the resilient mothers who have braved life's storms and still dare to dream. As part of this tribute, we're introducing our first holiday gift guide. Each week, we'll highlight products and services offered by women in the Infamous Mothers Universe. Please explore, consider, and purchase from these women entrepreneurs who are not only realizing their dreams but also solving real problems, making an impact, and creating some of the most coveted goods on the market. Be on the lookout for a new guide each week this month.
Just as the women of the gift guides are boldly accomplishing their dreams, you deserve to do the same. This month is all about you and your dreams. As mothers, special talents, yearnings and longings often lie hidden beneath our roles and responsibilities. For December, in honor of a season all about gifts, we are uncovering and valuing the gifts of women in the IMverse, realizing that these gifts are not mere figments of our imagination, but vital parts of our identity. To kick this series off, we start with the gift of dreams.
Points Have Been Made
We're not the first to discuss the interplay of motherhood and ambition. For instance, the blog "FindingBalance.Mom: Where Ambition Meets Motherhood" addresses this topic in depth. In her article, “Balancing Ambition And Motherhood: The Complete Practical Guide,” blogger Lily Ugbaja notes, “Having an ambitious mother who crushes her goals helps set a child up for success… Your kids will realize that they can be anything. Balancing important commitments while finding time to pursue and achieve your dreams teaches your children that where there is a will, there is a way.”
Similarly, Motherly features an essay titled “You Can Still Chase Your Dreams, Mama.” The author urges mothers to nurture their own “dreams, passions, goals, and aspirations,” emphasizing that they “deserve to embark on multiple journeys in life,” beyond just motherhood. The essay highlights the challenges of carving out time for personal pursuits but strongly affirms the importance and right of mothers to chase their dreams.
This is precisely where our conversation begins. We understand that many mothers are so disconnected from their former dreams that they need to relearn how to hope and imagine. They have to rediscover this gift.
Uncovering Hidden Dreams
As mothers, we frequently bury our dreams under daily responsibilities and societal expectations. For many, these dreams are tucked away so deeply that they're forgotten, while for others, they're so well concealed that even they struggle to find them. However, these dreams are not lost – just hidden. To uncover them, allow yourself moments of introspection. Ask, “What desires have I put on hold?” and “What aspirations did I have before becoming a mother?” Reflect on times when you felt most alive and fulfilled – these moments offer clues to your hidden dreams.
Valuing Your Dreams
Acknowledging our dreams is often hindered by the belief that they are frivolous or unattainable. Society frequently suggests that mothers should adhere to certain roles, leading many to suppress their ambitions. But let's be honest: we live in a world that often shames and guilts mothers for aspiring to be more than caretakers. We hear judgmental questions like, “Who’s watching your kids while you chase your dreams?” or patronizing suggestions such as, “Shouldn't you wait until your kids are older before pursuing your degree?” It's time to challenge these notions and recognize that your dreams are valuable and worthy of pursuit. If you've been challenging those ideas by going after your ambitions, don’t apologize for it.
Remember, dreaming is not selfishness but an act of self-love and self-respect. Embracing your dreams is a step towards personal fulfillment, which also enriches your role as a nurturing and inspiring mother.
Articulating Your Dreams
Once you've uncovered and acknowledged your dreams, it's time to articulate them. Dreams can range from professional goals to personal passions. It's crucial to empty your brain and put them on paper. Writing them down, regardless of their size, is a declaration of your readiness to pursue them.
Defining and Organizing Your Dreams
I've often coached women on allowing themselves to dream. As they reconnect with parts of themselves they thought were lost, I've watched dreams flow onto the page – initially one or two, then quickly multiplying. The woman who thought she had no dreams suddenly has so many that she feels overwhelmed.
What's the solution?
She shapes and structures her dreams. She defines each one for clarity, then organizes them in a manageable and sensible way to fulfill them all.
Nurturing Your Passions
Now that you have an approach and understand that your dreams are achievable, it's crucial not to let them slip away again. The demands of motherhood can be a convenient excuse to avoid pursuing a big, intimidating dream. Carve out time for yourself and honor your commitments to accomplishing those visions that you once thought were out of reach. Start small if necessary, but start. This could involve dedicating time each week or day to a side hustle, hobby, or project that fuels your spirit.
Balancing Ambitions and Family
Achieving a balance between your dreams and family responsibilities is challenging, but not impossible. Open communication with your family about your aspirations helps create a supportive environment. Involve them in your journey, and let them see the joy and fulfillment that comes from pursuing what you love. Over time, with the right conversations, they too will become invested. Enlisting their help in managing household tasks, childcare, or parts of your dreams is strategic.
Consider these words by Tu Le, a mom and real estate agent. “When I started a new career in my early 40’s, I shared my business plan with my young children…I prepared them for the hours that were going to go into this. I shared my goal with them as they were essentially my partners in my home life. They understood why I had to work evenings and weekends and often came along with me. They have celebrated all my accomplishments, as they were wins for our family.” Instead of separating work and family, she brought the two together by sharing her vision with her small children. She trusted and respected them enough to present her plan, and it worked. She got their buy-in, and they moved and grew with the mission, understanding that it would impact all of their lives—and it has, in some really good ways.
Tu Le's example, at least in this case, is less about balancing ambition and family and more about integrating these very distinct experiences in such a way that they blend, even when they don't always balance. And that's a beautiful thing because balance isn't always sustainable—it's too delicate. But a good blending strategy can go a long way in a household where a mom is managing her dreams and her children.
The Power of Visualization
Finally, harness the power of visualization. Visualizing your dreams as achieved significantly impacts your mindset and approach. Create vision boards, write down your successes as if they have already happened, and spend time each day visualizing your goals. This practice not only maintains your focus but also strengthens your belief in the possibility of your dreams.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the first installment, "Unwrapping Infamous Mothers: The Gift of Dreams," has been an enlightening journey into understanding and cherishing one of the most precious gifts we possess as mothers: our dreams. This series isn't just about gifts in the traditional sense; it's about unearthing and appreciating the intrinsic gifts that lie within us. We have focused on the gift of dreams – a gift that often remains unopened beneath the layers of our daily lives and responsibilities.
We've explored how vital it is to uncover these dreams, to give them the value they deserve, and to boldly claim the right to pursue them. Our discussions have gone beyond mere recognition, delving into practical strategies for nurturing, balancing, and actualizing these dreams amidst the intricacies of motherhood.
As we conclude this week, let's remember that our dreams are not frivolous or secondary; they are the essence of who we are and what we can become. They are a gift not just to ourselves, but to our families and communities, as they inspire us to grow, contribute, and set an example for those around us.
Looking forward, this series will continue to reveal and celebrate the diverse and valuable gifts that mothers bring to the table. Each week, we'll unwrap a new aspect of our multifaceted identities, discovering how each gift contributes to our unique journey through motherhood and beyond.
So, as we move forward, let's embrace the gift of our dreams with the same love and enthusiasm we would any cherished present. Let's commit to not only recognizing our dreams but actively nurturing them, as an integral part of the wondrous journey of motherhood. Stay tuned for more insights and inspirations as we continue to unwrap the myriad gifts of infamous mothers.
P.S. — It’s Covet Season
In the Infamous Mothers Universe (IMverse), we're fully immersed in the transformative Covet season. This is the phase where extraordinary women in our world wholeheartedly dedicate themselves to becoming the versions of themselves that once seemed out of reach. During this season, women are achieving their health and wellness goals, increasing their bottom lines, and accomplishing things that were once deemed 'impossible'. Our mission is crystal clear: we exist to inspire, motivate, and educate you as you relentlessly pursue the very dreams you've longed for.
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Photo Credit: Chris Charles
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers