The Green-Eyed Monster: Harnessing the Power of Envy on the Path to Success
Introduction
The journey to accomplishing 'impossible' dreams is fraught with challenges, and one formidable obstacle women often face is envy. Envy has the power to disrupt businesses, hinder collaboration, impede personal growth, and strain day-to-day functioning. It shapes our narratives, influences self-perception, and impacts our ability to build strong bonds of sisterhood. While money is a usual suspect in such challenges, today, it’s taking a backseat to a different kind of “green” problem. In this blog post, we’re exploring envy: its causes, effects, and its potential as a force for personal growth and empowerment.
The Envy Dilemma
Envy is a complex emotion, and I became intrigued by it when I observed its presence in a relationship with someone I deeply cared about. We had a unique dynamic that outsiders often interpreted as jealousy or obsession on her part. However, I saw it differently, primarily because our relationship was that of a mentor and mentee. I believed that part of my role was to support her in reaching her business and wealth goals, alongside pursuing my own path.
Over time, our relationship became too toxic to sustain. She made peculiar moves like unfriending me on Facebook without any apparent conflict. She lamented about a lack of support, despite my considerable assistance. She even grew resentful when I hired experts who had honed their craft, whereas she lacked the experience. It wasn't jealousy driving her actions; it was envy.
The Root of Envy
The key issue here was not jealousy, which arises when one feels their possessions or success are threatened by another person. Instead, it was envy fueled by my mastery in my field, my expertise, and my ability to see my goals through to completion. She envied my capacity to finish what I started and the rewards that came with it.
Had she been aware of this and embarked on a journey of self-reflection, her life might have taken a different turn. Perhaps she would have focused on honing her skills or finishing what she started instead of juggling numerous side hustles with limited success.
Self-Reflection and Growth
It's essential to recognize that the lessons I share about envy apply to me as well. My envy centered around raising funds for my company. I often envied nonprofit leaders who secured substantial donations to sustain their organizations. As a small, for-profit business with a social mission, I questioned my decision not to become a nonprofit. I lacked confidence in my business structure and felt stuck. Envy consumed me, leading to depression and anxiety.
However, once I understood my envy and used it as a guide, I transformed my circumstances. I asked myself crucial questions, such as, "What can I learn from her success?" and "What work do I need to do within myself to achieve similar outcomes?" By addressing these questions, I achieved my financial goals, improved my relationships, and boosted my confidence.
The Value of Envy
Envy, often seen as an 'ugly feeling,' has intrinsic value. It serves as a signal, directing us toward areas where we may feel inadequate or unfulfilled. The problem lies not in the emotion itself but in our tendency to vilify it and our failure to acknowledge its usefulness. By ignoring envy, we turn what could be a warning signal into a source of stagnation.
Building Strong Alliances
I've witnessed women denying opportunities to others due to envy, refusing partnerships, and remaining silent about friends' successes. This approach is counterproductive because in true alliances, one woman's success benefits all. Envy becomes a barrier when we sabotage ourselves and others by ignoring its message.
The Transformational Power of Envy
Understanding envy as a catalyst for personal growth is vital. It is not just about acknowledging envy; it's about harnessing its power for transformation. When we confront envy head-on and use it as a guide, we open doors to self-improvement, personal development, and increased success.
Practical Steps to Transform Envy
1. Self-Reflection: Begin by introspecting about the root causes of your envy. What specific qualities or achievements trigger these feelings?
2. Comparison vs. Learning: Shift your perspective from comparing yourself negatively to others to learning from their successes. Identify what you can learn from those you envy.
3. Personal Growth: Develop a plan for personal growth based on the insights gained from your envy. Set achievable goals that align with your aspirations.
4. Celebrate Others: Embrace the success of others. Celebrate their achievements as a reminder that success is attainable.
5. Collaboration: Foster a culture of collaboration and support within your network. Remember that true alliances benefit everyone involved.
Rewriting Your Envy
Covet: The ‘Disrespectful’ Health and Wellness Journal is a 8” x 10” hard cover. The display image above is smaller and not a true representation of the actual journal.
Part of the reason I created Covet: The 'Disrespectful' Health and Wellness Journal is to offer a safe space to leverage the power of envy for your own personal transformation. Each day, you have space to explore the "ugly feelings" you have about someone else from a place of honesty. And in that same space, you are prompted to create a strategy for addressing those feelings.
On your way to becoming the best version of yourself, the process can be messy, but you don't have to be. I created Covet to help you negotiate that. For more info, click here.
If this resonates with you and you're curious to learn more about Covet: The 'Disrespectful' Health and Wellness Journal, click the link above. There, you'll find all the information you need to embark on this empowering journey of self-discovery and growth.
Conclusion
Envy may be an uncomfortable emotion, but it carries immense potential for personal growth and empowerment. Instead of suppressing it or letting it fester, we can use envy as a guiding force to improve ourselves, our relationships, and our businesses. By embracing envy as a catalyst for positive change, we can transform it from a 'green-eyed monster' into a powerful tool on our journey to accomplishing our 'impossible' dreams. Let us not overlook its value but, instead, harness its transformative power to uplift ourselves and our other badass women on the path to success.
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers