Mastering Your Life (Part 2): From 'I'm Awesome' to 'I'm the Sh*t'
Do you remember Issa Rae’s 2019 speech— the one she gave while accepting the Women in Film Emerging Entrepreneur Award? She talked about how women often downplay themselves and are taught to be humble. Hip hop, which influenced her growing up, didn't embrace humility, and neither did she, ending her speech with, “Entrepreneur till I die; I deserve this. Bye.”
Much like Issa Rae draws inspiration from hip-hop, Infamous Mothers draws inspiration from hip-hop feminism, which, in part, revolves around embracing the inconsistencies within the fight for women's equality. Unlike other feminist movements, hip-hop feminism welcomes diverse perspectives and disagreements. This inclusivity is made possible by the percussive nature of Crunk feminism, which blends the cultures of "crunk" and "feminism," sometimes appearing belligerent and at other times professional. This percussive element is essential because it provides a framework and space for a "both/and" identity and experience, rather than being reduced to "either/or."
With this information, the stage has been set for today's blog post. Being able to confidently acknowledge our worth without apology is partly about making room for both our raw and polished experiences. It is about uniting the uncensored and the respected. As we mentioned in Part 1 of this series, the word "shit" can be both an insult, meaning "worthless, offensive, or detestable," and a compliment, describing something or someone as "excellent and exemplary." When women in the Infamous Mothers universe (IMverse) say that we're the shit, it's about embracing all the facets of our lives that are both messy and marvelous. It's about recognizing that our success is often directly linked to the challenging, unpleasant, and unfavorable circumstances that have forged us into the formidable, powerhouse, game-changing women we are. Saying that we're the shit is about refusing to gloss over, downplay, or diminish the challenging circumstances, muck, and filth we had to wade through to reach our destination. It's about refusing to distance ourselves from the journey that brought us to where we are today.
Sometimes, saying "I'm awesome" or "I did well" or "I'm amazing" doesn't fully express the complexity of an experience. It doesn't capture the breadth or depth of your challenges, nor does it convey the defiance that fueled your achievements. As you work towards building a mothering practice that includes you at the center and as you strive to achieve your dreams, I invite you not only to embrace all your accomplishments but also to unapologetically declare that you're the shit whenever you see fit. It's an act of defiance and protest against those who would try to convince you to play small and remain inconspicuous. In other words, sometimes, you may need something a little stronger than “I did well” or “Yay me.” Below, I make a case for six moments when “I’m awesome” just may not be enough.
Six Moments When "I'm Awesome" Just Isn't Enough:
1. When Self-Acceptance Is a Battle: Respectability politics can often perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Sometimes, asserting your self-worth means resisting the internalization of societal norms that diminish your value. It involves declaring your greatness on your own terms, shattering established norms, and owning your self-worth without apology.
2. Reclaiming Empowerment: Historically, certain words and phrases, like "the shit," have been used pejoratively. When you use this phrase positively, you're reclaiming and repurposing it to empower yourself. On your terms, you’re taking control of how language and phrases are used to redefine and reinforce your sense of self-worth and resilience.
3. Promoting Authenticity: Using words like "I am fantastic" or saying "I did it" is sometimes about making others feel safe. But that language may not feel authentic or real to your own experiences. Sometimes, the raw or "inappropriate" may be the truest way to declare your greatness because your journey was harsh, yet you emerged victorious. Saying "I'm the shit" is about being yourself, without apology, in a world that often pressures you to conform to certain images or expectations.
4. "Fighting for Self-Love: Simply reciting affirmations like 'I love myself' may not always be sufficient in shielding you from self-hate, as they can sometimes feel disconnected from your reality. However, saying 'I'm the shit' can serve as a bridge, assisting you in transitioning from self-criticism and self-hate to a place of self-love. This transition is particularly crucial in a society that frequently nurtures self-doubt and insecurity. Here's why: this expression is versatile enough to resonate with you during your lowest lows and your highest accomplishments. 'I'm the shit' is a phrase that can accurately describe your self-worth at any point in your personal journey."
5. Resisting Stereotypes: Saying "I'm the shit" can be a powerful rejection of stereotypes related to gender, race, and other personal characteristics that often lead to preconceived notions about your capabilities. It's a defiant act as gritty as the stereotypes trying to hold you back.
In essence, it's a way of saying, I am capable, empowered, and extraordinary despite what preconceived notions might suggest." So, it's not just a statement of self-confidence but also an assertion of your ability to break free from societal constraints and expectations that may try to hold you back.
6. Personal Fulfillment: Many people find personal fulfillment by living life on their terms rather than trying to meet external expectations. "I'm the shit" signifies a refusal to conform to others' expressions and language of success or worth. By doing so, you're more likely to lead a life that aligns with your own values and desires, which is a key aspect of personal fulfillment.
Conclusion
Writing about the importance of unapologetically declaring "I'm the shit" may raise questions for some, and that's entirely valid. After all, why spend time on this topic when there are countless pressing issues in the world? The answer lies in the value that this content brings to the lives of women and, in fact, to everyone who has ever felt the need to downplay their accomplishments and self-worth.
The ability to confidently acknowledge our worth without apology is not just an exercise in self-affirmation; it's a powerful act of defiance and protest. In a society where women, especially, are often conditioned to be humble and modest, owning our greatness becomes a revolutionary act. It challenges expectations, stereotypes, and self-doubt. It encourages self-acceptance and authenticity in a world that can often pressure us to conform.
This content is a reminder that we don't need to rely on external validation to recognize our worth. We have the agency to define our own narratives, separate from societal norms and stereotypes. Saying "I'm the shit" can be the bridge between self-criticism and self-love, especially for those whose journeys have been challenging and marked by adversity.
In embracing this declaration, we're reclaiming language and repurposing it as a form of empowerment, standing up against the negative stereotypes and prejudices that may have been associated with it. By recognizing that "I'm the shit" encompasses both the challenging and the extraordinary aspects of our lives, we honor the full spectrum of our experiences.
So, why write about this? Because it's a reminder that personal fulfillment is not a one-size-fits-all journey. It's about embracing the messy and marvelous parts of our lives, refusing to gloss over the hardships we've overcome, and owning our self-worth without apology. It's a celebration of self-acceptance, defiance of conformity, and a declaration of authenticity. In the end, it's a message of empowerment that encourages individuals to unapologetically declare their worth and impact on the world.
On a regular basis, I coach and educate women on the power and impact of learning how to do the simple but not easy act of declaring that they’re ‘the shit.’ Often, these women struggle to own their accomplishments out of fear of coming across as a “bitch” or arrogant. And yet, this inability to own their triumphs is often the thing standing in the way of their next-level success.
If you are someone who faces a similar challenge, consider taking a page— literally— out of Covet: The 'Disrespectful' Health and Wellness Journal. Each day, among other things, it carves out a space for women to unapologetically journal about why they're the sh*t. It's a powerful tool that encourages you to take a few moments daily to reflect on your achievements, ultimately helping you to build a daily practice of self-affirmation and empowerment. For your sample page, click here to download.
P.S. — It’s Covet Season
In the Infamous Mothers Universe (IMverse), we're fully immersed in the transformative Covet season. This is the phase where extraordinary women in our world wholeheartedly dedicate themselves to becoming the versions of themselves that once seemed out of reach. During this season, women are achieving their health and wellness goals, increasing their bottom lines, and accomplishing things that were once deemed 'impossible'. Our mission is crystal clear: we exist to inspire, motivate, and educate you as you relentlessly pursue the very dreams you've longed for.
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ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers