Why Ambitious Women Struggle to Celebrate Themselves (And Why That Needs to Change)
A woman stopping to smell a rose after an accomplishment.
Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: Why do high-achieving women struggle to acknowledge their own success?
Not in a “Wow, I’m so grateful” way.
Not in a “Look at this cute little milestone” way.
I mean fully, unapologetically celebrating what we’ve built, accomplished, and overcome.
Because here’s what I know for sure: A lot of us don’t.
We hit a goal, nod our heads, and immediately move on to the next thing.
We downplay wins because they don’t feel “big enough” yet.
We convince ourselves that if we stop to celebrate, we might lose momentum.
And I need us to stop and ask—why?
Dissolving finish line
🔥 How Ambition Tricks Us Into Thinking We’re Behind
The thing about ambitious women? We’re never satisfied.
And before anyone misinterprets that—I’m not saying ambition is a bad thing. Ambition is what makes us grow, push limits, and get sh*t done.
But the downside?
It convinces us that we’re always behind.
No matter how much we achieve, there’s always more we could be doing.
No matter how far we’ve come, there’s always someone further ahead.
No matter how successful we get, there’s always another level to reach.
So instead of looking at our progress and thinking, “Damn, I really did that,” we think, “Okay, but I’m still not there yet.”
But where is “there” exactly? And why do we keep acting like we’ll finally feel fulfilled when we reach it?
Disclaimer Jar
🔥 The Way Women Are Conditioned to Downplay Success
If a man walks into a room and announces his latest win, it’s confidence.
If a woman does it? It’s bragging.
And we’ve been trained—since childhood—to make ourselves more likable by playing small.
We learned to deflect compliments.
We learned to tone down our excitement.
We learned to give credit to everyone except ourselves.
So now? Even when we do acknowledge our wins, it’s laced with humility disclaimers.
“Oh, it wasn’t a big deal.”
“I mean, I got the promotion, but I still have so much to learn.”
“Yeah, I hit the goal, but honestly, I just got lucky.”
Why do we do this? Because we’ve been conditioned to believe that confidence should be quiet, and gratitude should always come with a side of self-deprecation.
But guess what? We don’t owe the world a watered-down version of our success.
Hamster Wheel of Success
🔥 The Internal & External Pressures That Keep Us Moving the Goalpost
You know what’s wild?
Even when we do reach a milestone—the thing we swore would make us feel accomplished—we don’t actually stop to enjoy it.
Instead, we move the goalpost before we even celebrate the win.
We get the degree… but now we need the job.
We get the job… but now we need the promotion.
We get the promotion… but now we need to prove we deserve it.
The finish line keeps moving.
And when we do stop for a second, society reminds us that we haven’t done enough yet.
Capitalism says, “What’s next?”
Social media says, “Look at what she’s doing—you better catch up.”
Our own expectations say, “You should be further along by now.”
So instead of feeling accomplished, we feel behind.
Instead of celebrating, we stress about what’s next.
And listen, I get it. We’ve worked too damn hard to sit around and get complacent. But at some point, we have to ask ourselves—what’s the point of all this work if we never let ourselves feel the joy of what we’ve built?
Journal of Wins
🔥 Why Celebrating Progress is a Radical Act of Self-Ownership
I know what some of you are thinking:
"Okay, but I have goals. I can’t just stop and throw a party for every little thing."
And that’s not what I’m saying.
I’m saying—what if celebration isn’t a distraction from progress? What if it’s actually fuel for what’s next?
Because when you celebrate yourself, a few things happen:
You train your brain to recognize your own success.
You build confidence by acknowledging how far you’ve come.
You stop looking to external validation to feel accomplished.
You create a natural ending from one task to another allowing you to catch your breath.
And maybe most importantly?
✔ You remind yourself that you are already enough—exactly as you are, right now.
Because learning to celebrate where you are, makes it that much sweeter when you get to where are you are going.
🔥 So Let’s Talk.
💡 When was the last time you actually celebrated yourself?
💡 What’s one win you never gave yourself enough credit for?
Drop it in the comments. Let’s change the way we see our success.👇🏾
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers