Soft and Hard: The Power of Holding Both
Soft and Hard
Women of the IMverse, let’s talk about something many of us have experienced—maybe briefly, maybe deeply, maybe never but damn sure wondered about:
Have you ever been in the presence of the kind of masculinity that triggers your femininity?
I’m talking about the kind of energy that makes you feel safe. The kind that lets you exhale in ways you didn’t even know you needed to. The kind that makes you feel so deeply seen and held that it doesn’t just relax your shoulders—it rearranges your entire nervous system.
And listen, I already know some of y’all are reading this with a side-eye, like "Not me. I ain’t never been the submissive type." And I hear you, sis. I really do. But let’s go deeper.
Because this ain't about submission in the way we’ve been taught to fear it. This is about having permission to be soft when life has required you to be hard for too damn long.
The Strength in Softness
If you’ve never felt that kind of safe, protected, "I got you, sis" energy, I get it. A lot of us have spent years—decades even—carrying everything and everyone. We’ve been the problem solvers, the planners, the protectors, the providers. We’ve built entire worlds on our backs, often without a second thought, because that’s just what we do.
So when we find ourselves in the presence of something—or someone—that allows us to let go, even just a little, it can be life-altering.
Because softness requires a different kind of strength.
It takes strength to trust when you’ve only ever relied on yourself.
It takes strength to lean back when life has taught you that leaning means falling.
It takes strength to say, "I don’t have to carry all this alone."
And the truth is, a lot of us don’t know what to do with that.
Finding treasure in “trash”
Hard Ain’t the Only Power You Hold
Now, don’t get it twisted—your hardness has saved you.
Your ability to stand firm, push through, and get things done in the face of every obstacle has been the reason you’re still here. You’ve built something real with that strength.
But you know what else is true? That same hardness can sometimes keep you from receiving what you deserve.
Love.
Care.
Ease.
Rest.
Because when you’re used to doing it all, trusting that you don’t have to can feel like a risk.
It’s like being ambidextrous—there’s power in being able to write with both hands. There’s power in knowing how to balance hard and soft, strength and surrender, fire and water.
Resilience Ain’t Just About Endurance—It’s About Adaptation
This reminds me of something we talked about in Rubber-Band Resilience: Bouncing Back and Forward Without Apology.
In that piece, we explored how resilience isn’t just about surviving. It’s about knowing how to stretch, adapt, and move with life.
And guess what? That applies here too.
The ability to be both soft and hard isn’t just about relationships—it’s about how you move through life.
It’s about knowing when to fight and when to fall back.
When to lead and when to allow yourself to be led.
When to hold on and when to release.
Because real power isn’t in choosing one or the other—it’s in mastering both.
📌 Related Article: The Harder Life Gets, the Softer We Need to Be
Where Do You Need to Shift?
So, here’s the question:
💖 Where in your life do you need to soften?
Where have you been carrying weight that’s no longer yours to hold? What would happen if you let yourself receive instead of always giving?
🔥 Where do you need to stand firm?
Where have you been shrinking when you should be taking up space? What boundaries need reinforcing? What truth do you need to own?
Soft. Hard. Strength. Surrender. All of it is yours.
You were never meant to be just one thing.
So let’s talk about it. Drop a comment—where are you leaning in, and where are you letting go?
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers