Redefining Success: Why It Means Freedom for Me
Start Strong. Take the leap.
At one point in my life, I thought success was completing college. Then I thought it was earning a Ph.D. Then, I thought it was becoming a professional in my field. And for a while, I believed it was making a lot of money.
But with every milestone I reached, a new bar appeared—just slightly out of reach, pushing me to chase the next level, the next title, the next thing. The goalpost kept moving, and I kept running.
Then I paused. I reflected. I asked myself a question that changed everything:
What do I actually love about these accomplishments?
And the answer wasn’t the degree. It wasn’t the title. It wasn’t even the paycheck.
It was the freedom each one brought me.
That realization hit me hard. Success, for me, wasn’t about collecting achievements like trophies on a shelf. It wasn’t about external validation or meeting society’s expectations. It was about creating a life where I had the freedom to choose, to move, to evolve, to exist on my own terms.
But let’s be honest—unlearning society’s definition of success is not easy. We are raised to chase approval. We are taught that success looks a certain way, follows a particular blueprint, and comes with specific rewards. And if you don’t follow that script? You risk being seen as a failure, even if your life is full of joy.
💡 Related Read: The High Cost of Leadership & Mental Health
The Illusion of Success: Are You Building Stability or a House of Cards?
The Illusion of Success
Success is tricky. It’s deceptive.
If you let others define it for you, if you blindly pursue someone else’s version of it, you could be building a prison of accomplishment—one that looks impressive from the outside but feels suffocating from the inside.
And many of us are living in those prisons right now.
We chase degrees because we’re told education equals success.
We climb corporate ladders because we’re told titles equal success.
We push ourselves to exhaustion because we’re told hustle equals success.
But what if success—true success—is something entirely different?
What if success is waking up and loving your life, regardless of what society thinks of it?
What if success is having time, peace, joy, and autonomy?
What if success is simply having the freedom to define success for yourself?
For too long, I let other people’s voices dictate my goals. It took time, reflection, and unlearning to realize that chasing someone else’s dream can never bring you real fulfillment.
💡 External Read: The Harvard Study on Happiness and What Truly Matters
Tearing up the rules
How I Redefined Success on My Terms
I had to unlearn a lot of things to break free from the cycle of chasing.
1. I Stopped Seeking Approval
For years, I let external validation shape my definition of success. I wanted my family, my peers, my mentors to look at my life and be impressed. But impressing people is a hollow goal. It fades fast. And at the end of the day, no one else is living your life but you.
So I stopped asking, “Will this make people proud of me?” and started asking, “Will this make me proud of myself?”
That simple shift made a world of difference. Instead of making choices based on what looked good on paper, I started making choices based on what felt right in my soul.
2. I Questioned the “Why” Behind My Goals
Every time I set a goal, I started questioning the why behind it.
Was I pursuing it because I actually wanted it?
Or because I thought I was supposed to want it?
That simple shift was powerful. It helped me let go of obligations that weren’t mine to carry. It helped me recognize that just because something is “a good opportunity” doesn’t mean it’s a good opportunity for me.
💡 Related Read: Success or Stress? How to Tell the Difference
3. I Stopped Equating Money with Freedom
Let’s be clear—I like money. Money creates options. Money allows for access. Money provides a level of freedom.
But money itself is not the goal.
I’ve seen people with wealth but no freedom. People who are financially successful but emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. Chasing money without clarity on how you want to use it can be a trap. I stopped asking, “How much money do I need to make?” and started asking, “What kind of life do I want to live, and how much money will it take to sustain that life?”
That shift helped me build a life that prioritizes freedom over status—a life where money is a tool, not the destination.
💡 External Read: Why Money Can’t Buy Happiness—But Can Buy Time
4. I Redefined Productivity
I used to believe that if I wasn’t constantly working, I wasn’t successful. But let’s be honest: Burnout is not a badge of honor. Exhaustion is not proof of ambition.
Now, I see rest as productive. I see joy as productive. I see setting boundaries as productive.
Because what’s the point of success if you’re too drained to enjoy it?
💡 Related Read: The Power of Rest: Why Doing Nothing is Essential for Success
Success on Your Terms
What Success Means to Me Now
Success, for me, is no longer about checking off society’s list of accomplishments. It’s about:
✔️ Waking up without dread.
✔️ Having the freedom to say yes and the power to say no.
✔️ Creating impact while protecting my peace.
✔️ Choosing the life I want instead of performing for a life others approve of.
That’s my definition of success. Yours might look different. And that’s exactly the point.
Success Is Yours to Define
If you take nothing else from this, take this: Success is not a universal standard. It is deeply personal.
If you don’t define it for yourself, someone else will define it for you. And you may wake up one day and realize you’ve spent years chasing a life that doesn’t even fulfill you.
So take a moment. Reflect. Ask yourself:
💡 What does success actually mean to me?
💡 Does the life I’m building align with that definition?
💡 Am I chasing freedom—or just a fancier, high-end version of a cage?
Because the truth is, success isn’t about what you achieve—it’s about how free you feel.
And you, my friend, deserve a life that feels like freedom.
The best part? You get to decide. On your terms. Without apology.
💡 External Read: Why Defining Your Own Success Is the Key to Happiness
#Success #Freedom #DefineYourOwnSuccess #WithoutApology #BreakingBarriers
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers