I Said What I Said: Owning Your Power Through Self-Declaration
Introduction
Listen. Here’s the thing about me: When it comes to my dreams, I said what I said. Once I set a goal in love, business, or finances—once I journal it, put it in writing, or say it out loud—it’s a done deal. The only thing left is figuring out the how. Period. That’s the power of declaration. And in this blog post, I want to help you get comfortable with owning your power to do the same.
The Power of Self-Declaration
Self-declaration is about more than just saying what you want—it’s about owning it. It’s when you decide to claim your dreams out loud and stake your place in the world confidently. When you declare something, you’re not just speaking it into existence; you’re setting a standard for yourself. You’re telling the world, and more importantly, yourself, that this is what you deserve, and you’re committed to making it happen.
For me, self-declaration has been a transformative act. It’s about standing in my truth, even when it feels vulnerable. It’s about saying, “This is who I am, and this is what I want,” without apology. When I began to declare my desires—to speak them out loud, write them down, and believe in them—I noticed a shift. The things I once thought were out of reach began to feel attainable. I started to see that my dreams weren’t just fantasies—they were possibilities waiting for me to claim them.
From Crumbs to Crown
Why Self-Declaration Matters
For many of us, owning and articulating our desires can feel like a bold, even radical, act. We’re often taught to stay small, to not ask for too much, to be satisfied with what we have. But self-declaration pushes back against that mindset. It dares us to want wealth, homeownership, love, or the freedom to embrace our beauty. These are things we’ve been conditioned to believe are out of reach. We’ve been shamed into thinking that we are dirty, greedy, or sinful for wanting to live comfortable lives, experience pleasure, or fulfill our ambitions. But who told us that? Besides, for many of us, the need for more was born from an unselfish place: to care for the ones we love, put money behind the causes that matter to us, and never return to the conditions that bred and nurtured our trauma. We self-declare as a way to change realities that have fostered pain for many of us.
Self-declaration is vital because it’s how we take control of our lives. It’s about standing up and saying, “I’m worthy of this,” and then doing what it takes to claim it. It’s about refusing to let fear or doubt hold us back from what we know we can achieve.
For many of us, declaring ourselves is an announcement that we won’t be fed crumbs and act as if it’s a feast. We know that this sort of announcement may rock some boats. That’s ok. We don’t mind if it tips over if doing so means that we live a life that doesn’t require us to shrink and live in a box for eternity. When you say your dreams, goals, and ambitions, no matter how big or bold, and recognize that they are valid, that they matter, and that you deserve them, you are declaring yourself.
The Entrepreneurial Spirit of Self-Declaration
It’s National Black Business Month, and there’s a strong connection between self-declaration and entrepreneurship. Starting and sustaining a Black-owned business requires a deep sense of self-belief. It demands that you state (and stand on) your vision, even when others don’t see it, and push forward, even when the road is tough.
For many people, entrepreneurship states, “I’m going to create something meaningful, something that reflects who I am and what I believe in.” But for black women who are caretakers and come from histories that people love to judge, it says some more. When you start a business, the statement you are making is this: “I defy odds. I break barriers. And I bust through ceilings to be who I say I am and to do what I say I’m going to do.” It’s about declaring your worth in a world that might not always recognize it and building something that not only benefits you but also uplifts your community when the playing field that you own and the lane that you’re in is filled with holes, traps, and obstacles that may not affect others.
When I think about the women who have leaped into entrepreneurship, I see a powerful act of self-declaration. It’s about more than just starting a business—it’s about claiming your space in a world that often tries to push you to the margins. It’s about saying, “I deserve to be here, and I’m going to make my mark.”
Entrepreneurship is a journey that demands resilience, courage, and an unwavering belief in yourself. It requires you to declare your vision and commit to it, even when the path ahead is uncertain. It’s about building something that reflects your values, culture, and identity—a legacy that will outlast you and inspire others to do the same.
The Struggle with Declaration
Declaring what we want isn’t always easy. For many of us, the idea of declaring wealth can feel intimidating, especially in a society that has historically denied Black women economic power. Declaring homeownership might seem like a distant dream when systemic barriers are unnaturally natural. Declaring love can be challenging, especially when vulnerability feels risky. And declaring our beauty? That can feel like an act of defiance in a world that tries to tell us what beauty should look like.
But that’s precisely why these declarations are so important. They’re a way of reclaiming our power, of saying, “This is what I want, and I’m not going to apologize for it.” It’s about stepping into the fullness of who we are and declaring that we are worthy of what we desire. It’s about saying, “I deserve wealth. I deserve love. I deserve to own my home. I deserve to see my beauty reflected to me in the world.” And then doing the work to make those declarations a reality.
Create Your Own Personal Bubble
What’s at Stake When We Don’t Declare Ourselves
When we don’t declare ourselves, we risk losing more than our voice. Here are ten things at stake when we fail to make our self-declaration:
Identity: Without declaring who we are, we risk being defined by others and losing our sense of self. Our identity becomes shaped by external expectations rather than our true essence. And aren’t we tired of that mess?
Purpose: We must declare to avoid drifting without direction, unsure of our purpose. Not doing so is setting ourselves up to miss the clarity of aligning our actions with our deepest values and goals. And who has time to be walking around here aimlessly? I don’t. Do you?
Self-Worth: When we don't assert our worth, we allow others to undervalue us. This can lead to accepting less than we deserve in relationships, careers, and opportunities. In other words, self-worth is the thing we have that lets people know they can’t play in our faces.
Boundaries: Without explicit declarations, our boundaries become blurred, leaving us vulnerable to being taken advantage of or overwhelmed by others' demands. Again, we need this so people won’t play in our faces.
Voice: By not speaking up, we silence ourselves and diminish the power of our voice. Our thoughts, opinions, and needs go unheard, leading to frustration and resentment. Low key, this is how our inner hater is born.
Opportunities: When we don’t declare our goals and aspirations, we miss opportunities that align with our true desires. The world can’t offer us what we’re unwilling to ask for. Like Big Ma said, “Closed mouths don’t get fed.”
Confidence: Avoiding self-declaration weakens our confidence. It becomes harder to trust ourselves and take bold steps toward our dreams. Listen. You can’t follow your gut if you think it's the opps because you’re at war with yourself.
Legacy: Our legacy is built on the stories we tell and the actions we take. Without self-declaration, we risk leaving behind a legacy that doesn't reflect our true impact or intentions. Because, really, do you want other folks to be in charge of your story? They can’t get it right when you can do something about it. Can you imagine what they’ll see when you can’t? Get ahead of that, Sis.
Relationships: Our relationships suffer when we don't declare our needs and desires. Misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and unspoken frustrations can erode connections with others. It’s giving toxic.
Fulfillment: Ultimately, failing to declare ourselves leads to a life of unfulfilled potential. We settle for less, never fully experiencing the richness of living in alignment with who we indeed are. It’s giving misery.
Release Your Voice
How We Declare Ourselves
Declaring ourselves is more than just speaking words aloud—it’s an intentional act of aligning our thoughts, words, and actions with our true identity and desires. Here’s how we can begin to declare ourselves:
Journaling: Start by putting your thoughts and goals in writing. Journaling allows you to explore your deepest desires, fears, and aspirations. It’s a private space where you can be completely honest with yourself. Use it to articulate what you want, why it matters, and how to achieve it.
Affirmations: Create daily affirmations that reinforce your self-worth, goals, and identity. Speak them out loud each day to remind yourself of who you are and what you’re working towards. Affirmations are a powerful tool for shifting your mindset and keeping you focused.
Set Clear Boundaries: Declaring yourself involves setting boundaries that protect your time, energy, and well-being. Be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate in your personal and professional life. Boundaries help you stay aligned with your values and prevent others from derailing your goals.
Speak Your Truth: Don’t be afraid to voice your needs, desires, and opinions. Whether in relationships, at work, or in your community, speaking your truth is a crucial part of declaring yourself. It’s about being authentic and not shrinking to fit others’ expectations.
Take Action: Words alone aren’t enough—declaration requires action. Take steps towards your goals, no matter how small. Each action reinforces your commitment to your declaration and moves you closer to living the life you envision.
Surround Yourself with Support: Find people who uplift and encourage you. Surround yourself with a community that values self-declaration and aligns with your goals. This could be friends, mentors, or groups who understand and support your journey.
Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your declarations. Are your actions still aligned with your values and goals? Don’t be afraid to adjust your course if needed. Self-declaration is a dynamic process that evolves as you grow.
Celebrate Wins: Recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Celebrating your progress is a way of acknowledging your efforts and reinforcing your commitment to your declaration.
Document Your Journey: Track your declarations, goals, and progress. Whether through journaling, photos, or videos, documenting your journey reminds you of how far you’ve come and what you’ve accomplished.
Live Boldly: Finally, live boldly in your declaration. Don’t hold back or play small. Embrace your identity, pursue your goals with confidence, and let your actions reflect your true self.
Declaring ourselves is an ongoing process that requires intention, courage, and consistency. It’s about stepping into our power, owning our story, and aligning with who we are. When we declare ourselves, we take control of our narrative and create a life that reflects our deepest values and desires.
Your Self-Declaration Kit for the Week
Building Your Toolkit
For this week's IM toolkit picks, we have curated products and media that assist you with reclaiming your story, declaring your truth, and living in alignment with your values.
Infamous Mothers Coffee Table Book: Here, you’ll find 19 stories of women who’ve walked through the belly of hell and brought something good back. These women openly share where they’ve been, where they are, and where they’re going—without apology. Some of us struggle to self-declare because we aren’t surrounded by people who do. These women will show you how.
Covet: The “Disrespectful” Health and Wellness Journal: This journal includes four weeks of journaling and gratitude prompts centered on freedom, self-value, and—of course—declaring yourself. It’s packed with self-esteem tools, resources for building healthy habits, and a daily session called "Daily Shit," where you declare why you’re the shit today and what today’s bullshit is.
Books, Bullets, and Babies Card Game: This game offers a fun and guided way to reflect, whether in a community with other women or alone, as a journaling opportunity. The questions will make you laugh, blush, and maybe even cry (happy tears). It’s designed to challenge you to own the greatness that is yours right now while also nudging you toward the greatness you’re becoming.
A Pot to P*ss In: This memoir shares how I used my story and faith to accomplish impossible dreams, including becoming a doctor, building a thriving company, and purchasing my dream home when I didn’t have the cash or credit to be a natural candidate for doing so.
The Weekly Wench Blog: This blog is a stockpile of free expertise and guidance on how to reclaim your narrative, align your values and actions, and so much more. It’s a resource that’s always there when you need it.
Books, Bullets, and Babies Podcast (November 2024): This podcast is about learning how to own your story, state your identity, and chase your dreams while juggling competing and contrasting responsibilities—like mothering, building a business, and managing your self-care.
These are just a few of the tools we’ve created with you in mind. They’re meant to be companions, build community, and make you feel seen as you journey.
Conclusion
Self-declaration is more than just a statement; it’s a commitment to yourself and your future. It’s about boldly claiming your place and refusing to settle for anything less than you deserve. When you declare yourself, you’re not only setting the stage for your dreams to become reality—you’re also paving the way for others to do the same.
So, as you reflect on what’s at stake and the power of self-declaration, remember this: Your voice matters, your dreams are valid, and your worth is undeniable. Take the time to build your toolkit, surround yourself with the right resources, and step into the fullness of who you are. Declare your truth, live it unapologetically, and watch as the world rises to meet you.
Hey, Besties! Let’s Get Real
We’re inviting all members of the Infamous Mothers community and our supporters to join this important conversation. Share your stories of how you’ve navigated the journey of self-declaration, standing firm in your worth, and pursuing your dreams.
P.S. — It’s Covet Season
In the Infamous Mothers Universe (IMverse), we're fully immersed in the transformative Covet season. This is the phase where extraordinary women in our world wholeheartedly dedicate themselves to becoming the versions of themselves that once seemed out of reach. During this season, women are achieving their health and wellness goals, increasing their bottom lines, and accomplishing things that were once deemed 'impossible'. Our mission is crystal clear: we exist to inspire, motivate, and educate you as you relentlessly pursue the very dreams you've longed for.
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ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dr. Sagashus Levingston is an author, entrepreneur and PhD holder. She has two fur babies, Maya and Gracie, six children (three boys and three girls), and they all (including her partner) live in Madison, WI. She loves all things business, is committed to reminding moms of their power, and is dedicated to playing her part in closing the wealth gap for people of color and women. She believes that mothering is a practice, like yoga, and she fights daily to manage her chocolate intake. The struggle is real, y’all…and sometimes it’s beautiful.
Follow her on Instagram: @infamous.mothers