Pledge 3:

I pledge to accept all the ways I am the shit: defying odds, solving problems, and birthing ideas and lives. I call bullshit on the things, people, and situations that try to convince me that I deserve anything less than what I aim for—I probably deserve so much more.

As women, we often downplay our accomplishments because we do not want to come across as too ambitious. “That’s not ladylike.” We say that credit is “all ours” when we should say it’s “all mine,” but we don’t want to come across as too smart or power-hungry. So many of us shy away from our talents and greatness, constantly operating at a fraction of our potential—and even that shines too bright for many—because we believe we can’t fully be “activated” until marriage validates us. We stay in our lanes, in our corners, outside the spotlight because it’s safer. But even our dimmed light offends. It’s time to come out from under all that shade and make peace with the fact that, like an ex of mine used to say so affectionately, “You are better than everybody.”

You, my dear, are the bee’s knees, the crème de la crème. And as my eighty-something-year-old daddy would say, “Girl, you’re hot spit.” Your intelligence, creativity, power, and beauty are undeniable. You are a force, a true badass, a game changer, a showstopper. You are the GOAT, the tycoon, the mogul. So you might as well own it. And whenever someone tries to convince you otherwise, tell them, “Chile, please. I get it. I used to hate on me, too, until I got tired of lying to myself.” Tell the truth, and set everyone free. After all, denying your greatness, the magic that is you, doesn’t protect you in the end. It keeps you broke and broken. It’s a distraction from the real issues: your bottom line (pay me what I’m worth), your pleasure (a life of ease, satisfaction, and comfort), and your freedom (I do what I want because I can). You deserve all of this and so much more, Sis. Don’t let anybody, including yourself, tell you anything different, because you really are the shit.